The Hike From Hell
by dragonprincess1988
Summary: Dick, Tim, and Jason 'willingly' spend time together.


Dick pushed through some overgrowth. He was still trying to figure out why he had allowed himself to be talked into this. "Where are we going?"

Tim ducked as the branch Dick had just released came flying back towards him. "You're asking me? I thought you knew."

Dick shrugged as he moved some more branches out of the way for Tim to pass. "You're supposed to be the smart one."

Tim rolled his eyes at his brother. "Get this through your head. I DO NOT pull information out of the cosmos. I'm not magical."

Jason whistled to get their attention. "Would you two chill? I know where we're going."

"You?" They both stopped mid-step and stared at him in disbelief.

Jason spun around and glared at them. "Why is it so hard for you two to believe I actually know something?"

"Well, um…er…mmm…" The two of them fell silent as they glanced at each other.

Dick motioned for Tim to explain. "Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but you have this tendency to…" Tim trailed off searching for the right word.

"I tend to what?" Jason countered, still looking quite furious.

"Rush into things without thinking." Dick finished for him.

Tim nodded. "Yeah, that."

"Keep it up, and I'm going to leave the two of you here, and then you guys can find your own way back to Gotham." Jason gave one final glare to each of them before turning around and continuing on the path he had been following previously.

Dick leaned towards Tim. "He is aware that I have the keys to the car, right?"

Tim shrugged. "No idea, but I think we should give him another 30 minutes to admit that he's lost, and then point out that fact."

Jason curled his hands into fists as he started screaming at them. "I AM NOT LOST! And if you two don't hurry up, I swear I'll knock you out, take the supplies, and leave you here."

Tim turned to Dick. "I don't think Alfred would approve of that, do you?"

Dick shook his head. "No, I really don't think he would."

Jason rubbed his temples and tried to calm down. "How about a little less talking and a lot more walking, huh?"

"How about you tell us where the hell we're going, Jay?" Dick called ahead to Jason as he helped Tim maneuver around some more shrubbery.

Jason was growing increasingly more agitated…not that he was exactly known for his patience to begin with. "You know that's not gonna happen. So get a fucking move on already."

Dick pushed Tim forward. "He's pushy, isn't he?"

Tim glared back at Dick. "HE'S pushy? What about you?"

Dick smiled evilly. "You're slow."

Tim gave him one of his better bat glares. "You're an ass."

"And you're both idiots…now, hurry it up. I want to get there sometime this century." Jason started walking away from them again.

Dick raised an eyebrow at him. "And where, exactly, is there?"

"Some place…doesn't matter…keep walking." Jason spoke over his shoulder as he continued walking away.

Tim halted for a moment at that. "Um, I think it matters."

Jason stopped and turned to yell at them again. "Look, your options are: stay here in the middle of nowhere surrounded by a forest with creepy crawly things inhabiting it, or shut the hell up and follow me. It's up to you."

Tim turned towards Dick. "We might actually fare better with the 'creepy crawly things'. " Tim made air quotes with his fingers around the words creepy crawly things.

Dick stared at Tim with a puzzling look. "Is creepy crawly things a technical term?"

Jason threw his hands up in the air out of frustration. "That's it! I'm leaving you morons behind. Find your own way back to Gotham from here."

Dick shrugged as he walked over to Jason and left Tim to figure out his own way. "Hey, you dragged us out here."

"You followed." Jason folded his arms over his chest.

"You gave a convincing argument?" Dick offered as an excuse.

Tim finally caught up with them. "Dick, what the hell do you consider a convincing argument?"

Dick laughed at Tim's disheveled look and watched as Tim tried to remove twigs from his hair. "It was either go with Jason, or deal with Bruce after Selina had reamed him out for forgetting her birthday…again."

Tim's face scrunched up in a displeased expression just thinking about it. "Ew…"

"Yeah, and I wasn't going anywhere with Jason alone. Therefore…" Dick trailed off, allowing Tim to fill in the rest.

"Thanks, Dick, feed your little brother to the lions, why don't you?" Tim stared at him with feign hurt.

Dick smirked at Tim's show. "When my little brother can nerve strike said lions…hell yeah."

Tim looked at Dick as though he was crazy. "Do you have any idea how close I'd have to get to do that, and how dangerous that would be?"

Dick shrugged. "Yeah, but it'd be cool."

Tim shook his head at his elder brother. "I really don't think so."

Dick nodded. "I do. At the very least, it'd be pretty sweet."

Jason glared at them. "You know what would be sweet? If you two could shut your god damn mouths, and pick up the pace. I want to get there before the next ice age."

Dick rolled his eyes at him. "Yeah, and we all don't get what we want, Jason. Like, for instance, I still want to know where the hell we're going."

Jason spun around and started walking away again. "Can't you just enjoy the journey?"

Dick placed a hand on Jason's shoulder. "Wait a second; I'm supposed to enjoy trekking through something that looks like Poison Ivy's dream land?"

Jason shrugged off the hand. "I can promise the end result is worth it."

Tim smirked evilly at that. "A promise from Jason…isn't that like…"

"Say it and I swear I'll knock you out." Jason nearly growled at him.

Tim sighed and continued walking. "You take all the fun out of everything, you know that."

Jason turned toward Tim, his gaze gleamed with mischief. "If I light you on fire, will you move faster?"

Tim stared blankly back at him. "Um stop, drop, and roll sounds a little counter-productive to what you want."

Dick stepped between the two of them quickly. "Am I the only one uncomfortable with this conversation?"

Jason and Tim glanced at each other before turning back to Dick. "Yes."

Dick rolled his eyes at the two of them before shifting his attention back to Jason. "Okay, so if I can't know where we're going, can I at least have a why?"

Jason looked at him as though it should be obvious. "I didn't want to be there with Bruce after Selina let him have it."

Dick shook his head at him. "Yeah, but you didn't have to bring us along."

Jason watched him with a bored expression. "Well, if we're going to be technical about it _you_ brought Tim along."

Dick inclined his head slightly. He could give Jason that one. "Okay, but why did you want me here?"

Jason smirked at Dick before he started to walk away. "Confusing you is fun."

Dick leaned towards Tim. "I guess that marks the end of that conversation."

Tim shrugged at him. "We're bats…dismissing people is kind of our thing."

Dick raised an eyebrow at him. "Really? I thought it was just a you and Bruce thing."

Tim glared at him harshly. "Oh, like you've never done it."

"Fight nice you two. Daddy Bats wouldn't want you to kill each other." Jason called back to them from over his shoulder.

"Yeah, especially when he expects you to," Tim muttered under his breath.

Dick smacked him upside his head. "That's enough, Timmy."

"And, here we are." Jason spoke as he set down the pack he was carrying.

Tim stared at him in complete disbelief. "You put us through the hike from hell just to go fishing?"

Jason shrugged lazily as he started going through his pack. "Yeah, well…fish don't talk and aren't annoying…unlike Dick."

"HEY!" Dick gawked at him, clearly offended.

Tim got between the two of them before a fight could break out. "Jason put in your headphones, and there will be no shooting the fish."

"But…" Jason pulled out his shot gun and cocked it.

"No!" Tim growled at him.

Jason folded his arms over his chest again. "See? He really does take all the fun out of everything."

Dick nodded. "Truly."

Tim glared at both of them. "I hear fish prefer quiet."

Dick smiled evilly. "No, fish prefer water."

"And food." Jason smirked as he interjected.

Tim rolled his eyes. "Why did I allow myself to be dragged along?"

Jason grinned at him. "Because, even with the bickering we're still better than Bruce with the mood he's in right now."

Tim nodded at that. "True…very true."

The End


End file.
